the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
