Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
