96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
