shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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