The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
