I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
