We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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