i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
