Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
