We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
