Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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