I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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