True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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