I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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