Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Do you remember whose house we're in?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
