apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
vagina is talking i cant
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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