is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
