She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
