woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize