Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
