He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
