i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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