the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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