chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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