hotel room ftw
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
