ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
