what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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