Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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