i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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