Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
