i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
