You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
