he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.Â
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
