I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
