Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
