Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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