I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
and she was petting her beer can
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
