Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
