i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize