You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
