please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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