there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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