we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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