I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
