after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
