Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
