Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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