The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
