He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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