Fine. I'll sleep in my office
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
