i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
