I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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