Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
