I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
