Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
