My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
