do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize