Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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