Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?

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(708): View more from Illinois

I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.

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(585): View more from New York

"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."

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(216): View more from Ohio

just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"

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(707): View more from California

I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am

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