Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize