So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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