you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
