so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
