I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
