i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
