Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
