Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
