did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
