"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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