Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
